Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mom of the Year Moments

I have stories.

Lots and lots of stories.

I shake my head as I write this because like all, I have had some not so proud "Mommy Moments".
I think at one time or another every Mom has been initiated into the "Mom of the Year" club. If you haven't please call me and tell me how you have managed to elude this distinguished club!

The phrase, "Mom of the Year" showed up in my vocabulary early on in motherhood. At it's finest moments they are usually caught for everyone to see. I can tell you about the first time I was initiated into this fine club. During the middle of the night, Josh came downstairs to me frantically trying to soothe a crying, 5 day old Joey only to catch me trip over the infant seat and fall on the couch with Joey in hand perfectly unscathed b/c some how my "Mothers Intuition" kicked in just time to know how to fall gracefully with a newborn. Did I mention that I just had a c-section and was unable to move from the position I landed in?

From then on I became a contributing elite member of the "Mom of the Year" club.
If you haven't caught on yet, my blog title is sarcastic. I wanted to be clear in case anyone hasn't caught on to that yet. OK good, so let's move on.

Span ahead to when Joey was two and half (we'll skip those two years in between for posterity) and you will find that I have a very active and curious toddler on my hands. During a vacation in Lake Tahoe I got Joey those amazingly cool Color Wonder Markers that only work on Color Wonder paper. I let him color in his carseat while we were on extended drives to keep him busy and happy. (Do you see where this is going?) Things are going great one evening, when on our drive to have dinner, Joey starts hysterically crying. I have no idea why. He seemed fine and after I got him calmed down we were on our way. It wasn't until I took him out of his carseat only to discover bitten off marker tips. SERIOUSLY! I diligently searched for every single tip and matched with it with every marker I could fine. Through deductive reasoning I determined that he had scraped the inside of his nose with a rigid edge of one the markers because he kept saying, "nose hurt" and that made perfect sense to me especially since he was a little snotty and I could see nothing up his nose.
Fast forward a week and a half and we are back home when I notice Joey's nose is making a whistling sound every time he breathes. He mentioned something about his nose hurting a few days prior but I figured that the scrape inside was still healing and I didn't see anything still. So of course like any good Mom I wait until he takes a nap to do detective work. With my flashlight and suction bulb in hand I go to inspect the situation. As I look up his nose I say to myself, "what is that white thing I see"? "Is that a big booger"? I try to suction it out, but to no avail it doesn't move. It's at that moment that it registers with me! A MARKER TIP! Are you kidding me?????
I quickly take him to his Pediatricians office because they are so awesome to get me in at the last possible appointment of the day only to find that they cannot remove it with the instruments they have. We are referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctor but wouldn't be able to get in until the next day. By this time I feel terrible. How could I have not noticed it before? How could I make such a huge mistake? But having self pity was not the answer. After attempting to get the marker tip out of his nose by ENT Doctor by strapping Joey down to a board, we were still unable to get the tip out because Joey was struggling too much. So as a last resort Joey was scheduled to have surgery to have the marker tip removed while under anesthesia. The surgery required no cutting at all and took no longer then 20 minutes start to finish, but I sat in that waiting room feeling like a fool. To this day Joey still will not allow anyone to touch his nose.

I can look back now and laugh about the entire ordeal. I mean how can I have even expected that by giving Joey a marker it could break off in his nose. And furthermore, why did Joey have a marker up his nose in the first place? After that adventurous day, Joey is no longer allowed to have any sort of pointy object or coloring utensil unsupervised. You understand why, Right?

So, my name is Keana and I am the Mom of the Year!

And trust me I have more stories to come and many more that haven't even been written yet!

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