Monday, March 22, 2010

Balance

Motherhood is tricky and is full of so many dynamics.
As a Mom and moreover, a stay-at-home-mom, I feel that I am constantly doing something. Whether it be catching up on laundry or my blog, clipping coupons or cooking dinner or getting some 'me' time, Joey is always front and center in my mind.
I do not watch much TV, but I do cop to being on the computer more then I would like to admit. The other morning Joey and I were doing our regular morning routine: he eats breakfast and watches an episode or two of Mickey Mouse and I sip my coffee and check all my daily visited websites and emails (I know Mom of the Year right here...yikes!), when he said, "Mommy come sit right here" as he patted the couch.

At first I said No. I hate admitting that and saying it out loud. I was in the middle of writing and apparently did not recognize what my son just asked of me.
He never wants me to sit and cuddle with him and I just told him No?

In what all took a second from start to finish, I snapped out of it and broke our morning routine; because sitting with my son and snuggling is a way better option. He even shared his cereal with me. =)

In lieu of that event I started thinking about balance and I came to this conclusion. Motherhood is a delicate balance.

Even though being a great Mom means having your own personal time it also means putting your family above all other things. My husband and I have been discussing this a lot lately.
I love volleyball and play on one rec. team on Wednesday nights and a club team one weekend out of the month. Both are competitive and a whole lot of fun. I am usually able to find a babysitter or it works out well with Josh's schedule, but lately I have been asked a lot to play on other teams.
So my question is when is it too much volleyball? My husbands question is, "You are leaving us to go play volleyball again?"
We are kind of at a standstill on this topic, but I do honor and respect his opinions and I do understand where he is coming from. He works long and hard hours and so when it's his day off the last thing he wants me to do is leave to go play. I don't expect people to understand this dilemma, especially if they don't have kids, but it poses a really good question...
How can I balance it all?

This is something I want to explore because right now I don't have the answer. All I do know is that my most important commitments are my family.

I read a lot of blogs about Mom's who seem to have it all together and I wish I was one of those people but I also see the Mom's who do everything for their family and not enough for themselves and I fear that that is a really good way to lose yourself and who you are. Everyone needs time for themselves emotionally and physically.

So I guess what I am asking is, is it possible to balance it all?
I would love input!

5 comments:

  1. Keana,

    I love your blog posts. Please tell me, however, what is this fabled "me time" you speak of? (hee hee)

    L,
    Kelly

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  2. I know the elusive "me time"! And even when you get it don't you always feel like you are rushing home b/c you miss your family so much? I can't anxiety if I am away from my family too long.

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  3. Ahhh the delicate balance issue...

    Ok, first off I need to just say, that first part when you wrote about being on the computer and saying no to go snuggle.... I am there with you. I have had the EXACT same thing happen to me too. Ahhhh the crazy pull of blogging. I was so ashamed to realize that I was saying no to the ones that I WANT to snuggle with. Yikes!
    Just wanted to let you know I'm a part of that club too ;)

    Now, for the balance part. I wish I had an answer. I don't. I'm with you that we need "me time". It just makes us better. My "me time" is naptime. I heart naptime. It's a solid 2 hours of quiet. I should probably do something like laundry or dishes, but usually I just relax.
    I also try to get out at least twice a month in the evenings (whether it's with hubby or a girlfriend)

    Ok, so if you get the beauty of balance figured out please let me know :D

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  4. I hear you, Keana. I agree, too. When I first got to stay home with my kids, (not until our 4th was born) I would look out my window seeing moms walking their kids, their dogs, at the park playing with their kids, or hear of friends going on "field trips" with their kids. I was like, when do they do their housework?! When do they do their laundry, their dusting, vacuuming, etc.??? I was very unhappy. Then I started managing my time better and it got easier. I have really struggled with this, which is one of the things that attracted me to your blog! :) Maybe we can figure it out together?!

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  5. I put my family to work :) I know it's easier for me to say since my kids are a bit older, and I have more, but that's how I get away with getting some of my cleaning done. I do the big things, and my girly follows behind helping. When my boys get home, they have their chores, and homework, but we always manage to squeeze in an hour of just goofing off. Doesn't seem like much time, but those commercials you always see (the ones about parenting being about quality not quantity) are right.

    There's also those times though, where the house isn't a huge ravenous mess and I just say what the hey and leave it for tomorrow. Those days are usually weekends, and we spend all day playing together. My me time is also during nap time, when I get to relax and watch court TV.... or when I stay up late to sew. I think balance is different in every household, and it's just something you fall into without knowing it.

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